Wednesday, January 31, 2007

K - Guns! Big fuck off guns!

All - huh?

K - Erwin you always make guns look amazing..

E - He's right. I love a good 'piece'

K - it's something we should probably talk about?

E - Absolutely..

From nowhere Kevin dramatically - magician like - reveals an M16.

K - Ladies and gentleman. M16A1 rifle, with the forward assist, "bird cage" flash hider. circa 1967. The most feared assault weapon of the US military. Professional handling of this was mission critical in 'naaam. And now. In the underworld. Countless criminals, terrorists and guerilla's use it to devastating effect. But until now - it has been a man's weapon.

There's a pause - then cordelia stage whispers.

Cordelia- I can't believe your doing this.

Kevin - go on. He'll be impressed.

Cordelia -Erwin.Knowing you like women (she gestures 'me') and guns (She is handed the gun) we - well Kevin thought you'd like to see me..strip and reassemble an M16 in under four minutes.

Erwin - yeah baby I'd love to see that.

Daisy - (suddenly being serious) I bet you I can do it in two.

Cordelia - You're not serious?

Daisy - sure I am.

Cordelia - this is ridiculous. Who are are you? Kevin asked me to be all action heroine for Erwin - and I thought it was the stupidest thing ever. I mean me? I'm an actress who went on the antiwar march. Not in my name. Bush and blair out out out. An M16? A Challenge? Sorry Kevin. It's just crazy.

Kevin - crazy? It's perfect. A challenge. Two women. Fighting for what they believe in.

Erwin - It's great. It's showbiz. It's. It's -

Bernard - going to end in disaster. Ladies and gentlemen..

Daisy - Are you guys going to keep talking or pass me that piece and watch me work.

Daisy pulls up her skirts unglamorously and squats on the floor soldier like - pointing the M16 down stage.

Daisy - Ready set..

Erwin - go on honey

Kevin - This is amazing

Ricardo - I can't watch

Cordelia - I'm an actress.

Bernard - I'm confused.

Daisy does something very impressive with the gun and finishes with a flourish

Daisy - Just something I picked up. In the movies.

Erwin (to cordelia) - your lucky sweet heart. The OTHER things daisy picked up in the movies would get you arrested.

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