Lights up.
An amazing picture of Jean Claude Van Damme is projected on a screen.
The sedate classical music that has been playing abruptly halts.
Three dancers burst in from the back of the stage.
One blonde lady.
One brunette.
One young man with latin features.
A Kaleidoscopic light switches on. Pounding latin american jazz music plays the song Soca Mi Nice by Mongo Santamaria
Elaborate dance sequence.
Kevin Spottesby hurries in.
Kevin is youthful looking and enthusiastic. He wears a hooded top and trainers with the demenour of an IT support worker. He carries a remote control in his hands.
K- Hey hey hey what is going on here?
The male dancer continues dancing on the spot
Ricardo- Latin Jazz club mein! Join in if you liking it?
Kevin points his remote and stops the music, bringing the lights up.
The dancers stop and face him, hands on hips.
K- Guys, guys, ladies, this room is booked I'm afraid.
R- Whaat, cmon Kevin man, the community centre is supposed to be for everyone.
He uses the remote again and another picture appears: this time Dolph Lungren in all his Grecian pomp.
Kevin- Ricardo this is important, I have set up a special night for ALL of us, do I have to spell it out for you-
He beckons towards Dolph
beat
Ricardo- Oh I seee, Ezzzzzzz GAY NIGHT!!!!!!! Bem Bem Bem Maria Maria Bem Bem Bem, Its raining men Halelujah its raining-
Kevin- No, NO NO it is NOT gay night! Nothing against that, love the Birdcage, Top Gun - brilliant but Tonight, tonight it's Film club and we've booked this room until 10.30. Look out there, can't you see: we have an audience, so you'll need to find somewhere else to dance. And hurry up, Bernard will be here in a minute-
Ricardo- Oh Bernardo is coming, I like him. He funny. In his little bow-tie, talking about de artistic filme all the time. How come you're setting up here on your own, he usually in charge?
K- Well exactly, I'm fed up of always being his lackey. Ricardo, Tonight is THE night! I've gone and booked a guest-our first ever!! Yeah, we have a guy coming over from Hollywood-
R- Ohmigod!
K- Calm Ricardo, you know how i've been writing my screenplay
R-Oh-My-God!
K- Ric, you'll hyperventilate, listen, my script is ready, Cordelia will be here to help us act out some great scenes. Tonight we go straight to Hollywood and pitch for our lives!
R- I'll help of course. What is Bernard going to do?
K- He doesn't know, all he has to do is keep our guest here for an interview, I'll take care of the rest. And Tonight he won't get to prattle on ARTHOUSE cinema. That's they'll be no fruit-picking epics from the Ukraine! No more hand-held trailer park weepies from Belgium! and definately: NO Lars Von Trier! In a few minutes, people are going to know Kevin Spottesby as more than just the little guy who puts on DVDs in the background!
R- Girlies, meet in my office, I change outfit, for Kevin's big's night!
K- Alright Ricardo, you can help but you can't be Priscilla again, okay!
R- Ok, Mr De Mille, we iz ready for our Close-ups mother fucker
K- Beckons to dancer, Lulu keep him off the Tequila okay?
Ricardo squeals like a Big Brother contestant
Bernard- Kevin put the DVD on.........what on Earth is going on!!!!!!!?
An amazing picture of Jean Claude Van Damme is projected on a screen.
The sedate classical music that has been playing abruptly halts.
Three dancers burst in from the back of the stage.
One blonde lady.
One brunette.
One young man with latin features.
A Kaleidoscopic light switches on. Pounding latin american jazz music plays the song Soca Mi Nice by Mongo Santamaria
Elaborate dance sequence.
Kevin Spottesby hurries in.
Kevin is youthful looking and enthusiastic. He wears a hooded top and trainers with the demenour of an IT support worker. He carries a remote control in his hands.
K- Hey hey hey what is going on here?
The male dancer continues dancing on the spot
Ricardo- Latin Jazz club mein! Join in if you liking it?
Kevin points his remote and stops the music, bringing the lights up.
The dancers stop and face him, hands on hips.
K- Guys, guys, ladies, this room is booked I'm afraid.
R- Whaat, cmon Kevin man, the community centre is supposed to be for everyone.
He uses the remote again and another picture appears: this time Dolph Lungren in all his Grecian pomp.
Kevin- Ricardo this is important, I have set up a special night for ALL of us, do I have to spell it out for you-
He beckons towards Dolph
beat
Ricardo- Oh I seee, Ezzzzzzz GAY NIGHT!!!!!!! Bem Bem Bem Maria Maria Bem Bem Bem, Its raining men Halelujah its raining-
Kevin- No, NO NO it is NOT gay night! Nothing against that, love the Birdcage, Top Gun - brilliant but Tonight, tonight it's Film club and we've booked this room until 10.30. Look out there, can't you see: we have an audience, so you'll need to find somewhere else to dance. And hurry up, Bernard will be here in a minute-
Ricardo- Oh Bernardo is coming, I like him. He funny. In his little bow-tie, talking about de artistic filme all the time. How come you're setting up here on your own, he usually in charge?
K- Well exactly, I'm fed up of always being his lackey. Ricardo, Tonight is THE night! I've gone and booked a guest-our first ever!! Yeah, we have a guy coming over from Hollywood-
R- Ohmigod!
K- Calm Ricardo, you know how i've been writing my screenplay
R-Oh-My-God!
K- Ric, you'll hyperventilate, listen, my script is ready, Cordelia will be here to help us act out some great scenes. Tonight we go straight to Hollywood and pitch for our lives!
R- I'll help of course. What is Bernard going to do?
K- He doesn't know, all he has to do is keep our guest here for an interview, I'll take care of the rest. And Tonight he won't get to prattle on ARTHOUSE cinema. That's they'll be no fruit-picking epics from the Ukraine! No more hand-held trailer park weepies from Belgium! and definately: NO Lars Von Trier! In a few minutes, people are going to know Kevin Spottesby as more than just the little guy who puts on DVDs in the background!
R- Girlies, meet in my office, I change outfit, for Kevin's big's night!
K- Alright Ricardo, you can help but you can't be Priscilla again, okay!
R- Ok, Mr De Mille, we iz ready for our Close-ups mother fucker
K- Beckons to dancer, Lulu keep him off the Tequila okay?
Ricardo squeals like a Big Brother contestant
Bernard- Kevin put the DVD on.........what on Earth is going on!!!!!!!?
posted by Unknown at 5:03 AM
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