Bernard - Va Va Voom? Erwin - how important is that to casting? What did you make of our stars?

E- I like them a lot. Cordelia has potential – you’re a classy lady – and ricardo – you can play camp real good.

R – play? Camp?

E – but what about this chap..(referring to Bollo)

K – ah hah! Bollo is our action star..we’re very excited about him. Action, mayhem and assassination. Bolo is your man. What yesterday's heroes could only hint at, he can do with his bare hands. Watch this.

A clip of Bolo - complete with whip pans and dubbing

Erwin - You guys get better and better...

Bernard - dubbed kevin?

Kevin - he doesn't speak english..

Bernard - I heard -

Kevin - He doesn't speak english - plus he's a silent assassin

Ricardo - he not that hard - he just keek and punch..

Kevin - Not that hard? Ricardo! He does tai chi and shit..he can mess with your internal organs...rip your heart out...

Cordelia - are you sure about this kevin..?

Kevin - yes. he's incredible. Pass me that chair..Daisy, perhaps you'd like to hit Bolo in the face -

Daisy - no way.

Kevin - Bernard?

Bernard - You're not serious.

Kevin - Ricardo?

Ricardo - Eeek

Cordelia - oh give it here..

Bolo- Ok, stop, stop, enough. Don't hit me! I'm not a Ninja, I'm an accounts assistant. I go to evening classes. I drive a 2cv. Please don't hit me. I don;t know any martial arts.

Kevin - but

Bolo - tai chi is NOT a martial art kevin.

Ricardo - tai chi is cool kevin. Everyone does it. Madonna, Spicey Geri, the girl with the face like a plate...

Frustrated Kevin picks up a chair and smashes it over Bollo's head. It's balsa wood.

Kevin - there..he's a fucking ninja ok?

Erwin - Jesus dude. Relax.

Kevin – I’m sorry..

(Long beat where everybody looks uncomfortable.

Bernard - Now before we open to questions from the audience, I would like to mention, I think by way of explanation, you, well everybody deserves - erm, what I'm trying to say is, just like we are proud of our actors....we, infront of everyone here today, departing from the usual format,er Kevin, we really...its a pleasure to-

Cordelia- Oh for Gods sake! Kevin has a script Erwin.

Erwin- Oh what a relief, I thought he'd gone deranged. Drugs. (sniffs) You know. But it's ok. He's a screenwriter.

Kevin - yes I am.