Bernard - sitting alone - to himself right. We do this by the book. Just Ask the questions. I need to focus. Think Newsnight. That's it. Professional control and no surprises.

There is a scream off and the screen to the side of the stage bursts open as a Ninja flies like a striking cobra through it. He lands with his fist a gnat's nadger away from Bernard's face.

Kevin. entering casually Hi Bollo. You made it. To bernard you remember Bollo from the Modern Buddism in practice class. I thought I'd invite him along. Erwin likes ninjas.

Erwin enters - a bit drunk - with Daisy and Cordelia either side of him - Cordelia has unbuttoned her blouse a little and let her hair down.

Erwin - Bernard, Kevin, Howdy. FUck me. Whose your friend with the pyjamas!

Bernard - Breathe Bernard. Stay focused. What would Paxman do? Yeaas